Dear Low Self- Esteem,
I don’t face you often and I don’t want to acknowledge you at all. When people tell me sometimes that maybe you need to believe more in yourself I understand that no matter what I tell myself you are still lurking around in my mind. People say I developed you but I don’t understand why would I want to develop you, you were forced on to my mind and tattooed all over my soul. My heart does say that you can’t overpower me. But my head tells me that opposite.
I used to be good with people but now I am distant, I am hesitant and sometimes scared to show people what my beliefs and opinions are. I open my mouth and I suddenly find a shortage of words, you paralyze me. I fear hate because that’s what I received for a long period of time.
I used to cry over little things and I was soft-hearted so I started cutting down what made me cry and it was PEOPLE. Well no it wasn’t them it was you who made me cry. You clung to me like a shadow.
You clung to me so much that I became a self-loather, I still think self-love is too lame. There is not a day I walk out of my home without any makeup because I am not at all comfortable in my own skin. Sometimes my own body suffocates me and I catch myself wishing that I was someone else.
There are people who do love me but I push them away and I don’t tell them how grateful I am because they are there in my life. I am so obsessed with you that I am blinded to everything good that happens to me. But now I can’t take it anymore. Little by little I will let you go.
A Better Me.