I like darkness how it spreads itself all over the empty spaces and how it owns everything abandoned by the light. I like how light gets somewhere threatened by the dark. How it comes back to take what was abandoned and how it strives to market that everything can be started anew. But the point is light abandons all of us in the beginning, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, remember not at the beginning.
So, who is villainy? the dark that at least lasted and stayed with you and made you stronger and courageous with every step or the light which came back after abandoning you for years. It is as if a real parent coming back to take their child from his/her adoptive parents. That is how I am going to see light, I have no curiosity whatsoever to know what it will show me. I’d rather stumble in the dark, fall and maybe bleed too. But I am no more scared of what’s hidden in the dark, it embraces everything that has been shunned by the light. The dark does not shun anyone, does it? Well no one will dare say it does.
When you fall in the dark you get up and you move on, no one to laugh at you, no one to judge you and no one to give you some sympathy. Sympathy is a kindness of the highest cruellest order. That’s a weird sentence there but whatever you get the point and there is something called an “oxymoron”.
But when you fall in the light, you are shunned. Just because you fell and just because you were rash or you wanted to be reckless for once.
What did I ever get when I was responsible? And what did I lose by not being responsible for a while? For embracing what I wanted for once and for once leaving the mask of pretence or rather “perfection” as you like to call it?
I am sorry light at the end of tunnel before you leave me alone I won’t search for you ever again. I don’t need your warmth and I don’t need your assurances. I am used the icy winds and used to being vulnerable. I got over my fear of the dark and that is because I know what’s in it. A sense of belonging, a space where no one knows me and a space that allows me to be “me” in the first place.